Episode 51
Mastering Holiday Stress: 3 Strategies for Thriving in the Chaos
Are the upcoming holidays stressing you out? In this episode of Unshakable Habits, host Stephen Box shares three practical ways to not just survive but thrive during the holiday season.
Topics Include:
- Causes of holiday stress
- Signs and symptoms of stress
- Stress prep vs active de-stressing
- What does research say about "Wearing Stress as a Badge of Honor," and it's effect on us?
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Transcript
The holidays are here and for a lot of our listeners that
Stephen Box:means stress and if you are one of the people that find yourself getting
Stephen Box:really stressed out during the holidays Today's episode is going to be for you.
Stephen Box:Intro/Outro: Are you ready to break free from your old habits and create a better
Stephen Box:life for yourself and those around you?
Stephen Box:If so, welcome to Unshakable Habits, the podcast dedicated to helping
Stephen Box:men be better husbands, fathers, and leaders by prioritizing their
Stephen Box:physical and mental well being.
Stephen Box:360 degree perspective.
Stephen Box:perspective with inspiring stories and practical strategies
Stephen Box:for building unshakable habits that'll transform your life.
Stephen Box:Join Stephen Box, a board certified health and wellness coach, and let's change
Stephen Box:the world together, one habit at a time.
Stephen Box:All right, guys, welcome to unshakable habits, the podcast dedicated
Stephen Box:to helping men reclaim their health.
Stephen Box:So that they can create a better life for themselves and those who depend on them.
Stephen Box:I am your host, Stephen Box, board certified health and wellness coach.
Stephen Box:And today guys, we are going to be talking about stress during
Stephen Box:the holidays, what causes it.
Stephen Box:I'm going to talk to you guys a little bit about what I see most
Stephen Box:people try to do to solve it and why it's not working for them.
Stephen Box:I'm going to give you some really practical suggestions on things that you
Stephen Box:can do that are going to help with that.
Stephen Box:also today we're going to...
Stephen Box:dive into a little bit of some scientific research.
Stephen Box:Don't worry, I'm going to keep it super basic, so if you're
Stephen Box:not a science nerd, you're not going to be overwhelmed by this.
Stephen Box:But I do want to start breaking into some of these different research studies
Stephen Box:and give you guys some information.
Stephen Box:And today it is going to be about What really happens to you when you
Stephen Box:wear stress as a badge of honor?
Stephen Box:And I'm going to tell you guys, you might be surprised by the findings.
Stephen Box:So we're going to talk about that as well today.
Stephen Box:But first of all, let's start with this conversation about stress.
Stephen Box:Maybe you're a guy who acknowledges, Yes, I get super
Stephen Box:stressed out during the holidays.
Stephen Box:And I just want to say it's totally normal because here's the reality.
Stephen Box:A lot of times the holidays means travel.
Stephen Box:It means getting a lot of work done before you leave.
Stephen Box:Possibly knowing that you're going to come back to a pile of work.
Stephen Box:Even if you are working late nights and everything else to
Stephen Box:get stuff done before you leave.
Stephen Box:Because you're taking an extended period of time off of work.
Stephen Box:It also means for some people maybe having to deal with family coming in.
Stephen Box:Accommodating extra people in their house.
Stephen Box:It means having things like office parties to go to.
Stephen Box:It also means getting out of your normal routine and having to adapt
Stephen Box:to what's going on around you.
Stephen Box:So with all that guys, it's understandable that stress is something that a lot of
Stephen Box:us are dealing with this time of year.
Stephen Box:And the good news is there's something we can do about it and that's what
Stephen Box:I'm going to be giving you today.
Stephen Box:first of all, how do you know if you're stressed?
Stephen Box:Because I think for a lot of guys, They know, but sometimes the signs of
Stephen Box:stress aren't always obvious to us, we might attribute it to other things
Stephen Box:outside of stress, and sometimes it can be attributed to other things, so we
Stephen Box:really want to look at combinations.
Stephen Box:So for example, In your body, you might notice a lot of extra fatigue.
Stephen Box:maybe like headaches, really tight muscles.
Stephen Box:especially I find for a lot of guys it's like the upper
Stephen Box:shoulders, upper back, neck area.
Stephen Box:But some people also get really tight legs.
Stephen Box:It when they start to get a lot of tension or people start noticing things like their
Stephen Box:hands get really tight or their feet.
Stephen Box:Because they're clenching their hands or feet as they get tension built up.
Stephen Box:So these are just some things to look for.
Stephen Box:Also, mentally, maybe you worry a lot more.
Stephen Box:maybe you become more indecisive.
Stephen Box:If you're normally a really decisive person, all of a sudden you're
Stephen Box:really struggling to make decisions.
Stephen Box:you start finding yourself using a lot of negative language.
Stephen Box:Things that are not positive.
Stephen Box:And especially if you're including words like, Always and never in your sense,
Stephen Box:as in like, I never catch a break or I always have bad things happen to me.
Stephen Box:These are signs of stress.
Stephen Box:You may also find that your thinking is a little bit foggy
Stephen Box:or you have impaired judgment.
Stephen Box:Emotionally, you may have a lack of confidence.
Stephen Box:You may lose some of your confidence.
Stephen Box:you may feel indifferent or maybe even depressed or irritable.
Stephen Box:you may also notice that you have some trouble sleeping, so
Stephen Box:there may be some mild insomnia.
Stephen Box:If that's not normal for you, then all of a sudden you're experiencing that.
Stephen Box:and then behavior wise, maybe you have a lost appetite, or maybe
Stephen Box:you're always hungry, right?
Stephen Box:you become more accident prone, or you're really restless, or you
Stephen Box:start feeling like you're lonely.
Stephen Box:or maybe you are abusing substance, and I want to be careful when I say
Stephen Box:abusing because I think some people, when they hear the word abusing
Stephen Box:substances, think, like, we'll just use alcohol as an example here, but they
Stephen Box:go, you know, I'm not an alcoholic.
Stephen Box:I don't drink that much.
Stephen Box:And the thing I would say is, where are you at compared to where you normally are?
Stephen Box:are you drinking more than normal?
Stephen Box:And that's not to necessarily say that you're drinking too much.
Stephen Box:It's just being noticed, or taking notice of the fact that you are
Stephen Box:drinking a little bit more than normal.
Stephen Box:If any of that is happening for you, then more than likely
Stephen Box:you are experiencing stress.
Stephen Box:Whether you think of it as stress or not, those are all warning signs that
Stephen Box:stress exists inside of your body.
Stephen Box:And I think a perfect picture of that, and it's very appropriate
Stephen Box:for the conversation today.
Stephen Box:One of my favorite holiday movies, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Stephen Box:If you go back and really watch that movie, first of all, if you haven't
Stephen Box:seen it, you need to go watch it.
Stephen Box:Absolutely hilarious.
Stephen Box:Movie, one of my absolute favorite movies.
Stephen Box:I could probably honestly see here quote thing to you word for word
Stephen Box:because my wife and I watch it at least five, six times every holiday season.
Stephen Box:That aside, if you go back and just really watch the movie and just pay
Stephen Box:attention, you'll start to see, slowly through the movie, that Clark Griswold
Stephen Box:just becomes more and more stressed, and a lot of his stress stems from the fact
Stephen Box:that he wants to give his family away.
Stephen Box:This perfect holiday and I think for a lot of us guys, that's
Stephen Box:a very common thing, right?
Stephen Box:We want everything to be perfect because we've been taught and a lot of us have
Stephen Box:lived out this idea That we need to put ourselves last we need to put everybody
Stephen Box:else first And even if you don't explicitly think that, I think that's just
Stephen Box:something that we intuitively do, right?
Stephen Box:I mean, I know even myself, I have a lot of barriers, or
Stephen Box:boundaries, excuse me, in place.
Stephen Box:I have a lot of times where I communicate with my wife and I say,
Stephen Box:Hey, I need this time to be able to focus on doing this thing, and
Stephen Box:she's totally supportive of that.
Stephen Box:But if my wife needs something and I know that's going to make her happy,
Stephen Box:I mean, I'm still going to drop what I'm doing and, you know, make sure
Stephen Box:that she's taken care of, right?
Stephen Box:I think it's.
Stephen Box:You know, something that we just do as men, but we just have to make
Stephen Box:sure that we are leaving time for ourselves and we're taking care of
Stephen Box:ourselves as that is actually happening
Stephen Box:let's talk about what happens when we try to get rid of stress.
Stephen Box:Because what does everyone tell you to do if you're stressed out?
Stephen Box:They tell you to reduce your stress.
Stephen Box:And the thing is, there's actually two things that happen
Stephen Box:when dealing with stress.
Stephen Box:One is active de stressing.
Stephen Box:Now this is what most of us are already familiar with.
Stephen Box:So this is things like doing some meditations, or taking the time to,
Stephen Box:you know, do some breathing exercises, or doing some visualizations, or...
Stephen Box:Things like that, right?
Stephen Box:Like, just doing something, like going for a walk.
Stephen Box:Like, something that's actually going to actively de stress you.
Stephen Box:And de stressing has its place, okay?
Stephen Box:Don't get me wrong.
Stephen Box:But here's the analogy I like to use for de stressing.
Stephen Box:Actually, I'm going to give you two different analogies here.
Stephen Box:So the first one is, compare it to being thirsty.
Stephen Box:Now, you've probably heard people say, By the time you feel thirsty, you've
Stephen Box:already started to get dehydrated.
Stephen Box:And stress is a lot like that.
Stephen Box:By the time you start to notice the physical signs of stress, you've
Stephen Box:already gone into the red zone.
Stephen Box:And I'm not talking about football.
Stephen Box:So when you get into like this danger zone of stress, to the point where you're
Stephen Box:actually feeling it, and you do something to eliminate it a little bit, there
Stephen Box:is a temporary feeling better period.
Stephen Box:So it's very much like when you're thirsty, you drink a little bit of water.
Stephen Box:That thirst goes away, but you haven't actually rehydrated your body yet.
Stephen Box:You've just taken care of the thirst.
Stephen Box:You've given yourself just enough to make that feeling go away and a lot of the
Stephen Box:symptoms of stress can be the same way.
Stephen Box:Where we basically get the needle move just enough back past the danger
Stephen Box:area to where or what we'll call the overwhelm area just to make it simple.
Stephen Box:You're not necessarily in any danger at this point.
Stephen Box:You could be, but not necessarily.
Stephen Box:we're in this overwhelmed area, and we've basically moved the needle back just
Stephen Box:enough where it's outside of that area.
Stephen Box:We're not feeling overwhelmed.
Stephen Box:We just feel maybe a little bit of stress, but it's not that bad.
Stephen Box:It feels tolerable, like we can handle it, like it's under control,
Stephen Box:but it doesn't take much to drive us right back into the bad area, right?
Stephen Box:when I look at this, I look at it from the example of a phone battery.
Stephen Box:Let's say you, you charged your phone all the way up, and then
Stephen Box:you ran your phone down 10%.
Stephen Box:Okay, so your phone was at 100%, now it's at 90.
Stephen Box:And then, you plug it in.
Stephen Box:It gets to 95, you pull it back off the charger and then you use it.
Stephen Box:And then you run down another 10%.
Stephen Box:Now you're at 85 and then you plug it back in.
Stephen Box:You charge it up another 5%.
Stephen Box:And so now it's at 90%.
Stephen Box:Whoa.
Stephen Box:You're still 10 percent below where you started.
Stephen Box:You're still in the negative.
Stephen Box:And that's really what happens a lot of times when we are trying
Stephen Box:to actively de stress ourselves.
Stephen Box:Is the amount of de stressing we're doing is less than the actual stress we have.
Stephen Box:And again, I go back to the water example.
Stephen Box:The reason for that is, we've only moved the needle just far enough to where
Stephen Box:we're not feeling the stress anymore.
Stephen Box:But it's still there.
Stephen Box:It's still being accounted for.
Stephen Box:So that is the reason why all of a sudden we feel like, oh, I'm okay now.
Stephen Box:But the reality is, we haven't fully recharged the battery yet.
Stephen Box:The battery is still operating at a negative.
Stephen Box:that's what happens when we try to actively de stress.
Stephen Box:And that's why most people, even though they're trying to do those
Stephen Box:things, they don't feel like those things are really working for them.
Stephen Box:Okay, so to this point, we've talked about How the stress builds up.
Stephen Box:We've talked about how to recognize if you have too much stress.
Stephen Box:I've explained to you one of the big things that people try to do is actively
Stephen Box:de stress themselves and how that can make you feel better for a little while,
Stephen Box:but it's not really solving the problem.
Stephen Box:So now what I'm about to share with you is the second part of the equation,
Stephen Box:which is preparing yourself for stress.
Stephen Box:So let me give you a few different examples here and I'm going to
Stephen Box:give you three tips that you can actually utilize this holiday season.
Stephen Box:So for me, I worked retail for 13 years and as a result of that,
Stephen Box:I have some leftover, anxiety.
Stephen Box:I don't want to call it PTSD.
Stephen Box:But that's honestly, the best comparison I can make to it.
Stephen Box:and the reason I don't want to say it that way is I don't want to make
Stephen Box:light of anyone who has PTSD whatsoever by comparing my situation, but it's
Stephen Box:very much like that because I can be around crowds, like at a football game
Stephen Box:or a concert, and I'm totally fine.
Stephen Box:But if you put me around a crowd, like, in a environment like a grocery store or an
Stephen Box:apartment store, it just drives me crazy.
Stephen Box:Like, I don't want to be there.
Stephen Box:what I find is, I have to prepare myself to go into those places.
Stephen Box:Mentally, I have to prepare myself.
Stephen Box:Physically, I have to prepare myself to be able to walk into those environments.
Stephen Box:and not get really anxious and really irritable with people.
Stephen Box:And that's because Actively de stressing in those moments can help, but it's so
Stephen Box:much better if I walk in with a plan so that I'm not now trying to figure
Stephen Box:out in the moment how I want to react.
Stephen Box:Because remember, I said one of the signs of stress is things
Stephen Box:like foggy thinking or indecision.
Stephen Box:So if you are at a point where you're indifferent, your thinking
Stephen Box:is foggy, And you are really struggling with decision making.
Stephen Box:Does that sound like the time you want to be making decisions?
Stephen Box:Of course not.
Stephen Box:You want to already know how you're gonna handle those situations.
Stephen Box:But prepping goes beyond just that.
Stephen Box:And that's the three tips I'm gonna give you guys today that you're gonna be able
Stephen Box:to use throughout the holiday season.
Stephen Box:number one is exercise.
Stephen Box:Now, exercise, a lot of people think of it as an active, de
Stephen Box:stressing thing, and it can be.
Stephen Box:for example, say you're doing something like some yoga, or you're going for
Stephen Box:a walk, those absolutely can be part of a great de stressing program.
Stephen Box:However, exercise also prepares us to deal with stress.
Stephen Box:I'm going to read a quote here from Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Stephen Box:Probably heard of him.
Stephen Box:Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress
Stephen Box:and thus it tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body when
Stephen Box:we exercise, what we do is we teach our bodies how to deal with stress.
Stephen Box:And we can actually do certain types of exercise that build up
Stephen Box:our stress resilience better.
Stephen Box:It actually teaches our body to activate our parasympathetic systems, and that is
Stephen Box:the rest and digest system that we have.
Stephen Box:Which helps to counteract stress and the more that we do this the more it benefits
Stephen Box:us and the more that we are able to withstand and be resilient towards stress.
Stephen Box:Because remember, a stressor is not in and of itself a bad thing.
Stephen Box:Stress can be a positive.
Stephen Box:When we have the right amount of stress, it actually is very motivating
Stephen Box:and moves us towards our goal.
Stephen Box:We'll talk a little bit more about that in our...
Stephen Box:Science section later, but when we start to get too much stress, when
Stephen Box:it starts to become overwhelming, then we start to get burnt out.
Stephen Box:And what we're doing with exercise and by doing the right types of exercise
Stephen Box:to build resilience towards stress is we're giving ourselves two advantages.
Stephen Box:Number one, We're pushing the needle a little further over.
Stephen Box:It takes longer for us to hit that stress point where we
Stephen Box:start to become overwhelmed.
Stephen Box:The second thing is, I gave you the battery analogy earlier, and when we train
Stephen Box:our bodies to be more resilient towards stress, What we do is, we start, it's like
Stephen Box:plugging your phone into a fast charger, all of a sudden, instead of you getting
Stephen Box:the slow charge, now you're getting the super fast charge, so for those of you
Stephen Box:who have a newer phone, and it tells you can fully charge your phone in like 30
Stephen Box:minutes or whatever, this is what I'm talking about when I say plugging it
Stephen Box:into a fast charger, and that's exactly what training our bodies to be resilient
Stephen Box:to stress can help us do as well.
Stephen Box:Okay, so now that is what we're gonna do, For situations that we don't
Stephen Box:really know what's gonna happen.
Stephen Box:that's just getting our body prepared for situations in advance.
Stephen Box:And, the second area that we're gonna look at, the second step
Stephen Box:we're gonna look at is Anticipate.
Stephen Box:Now, when I talk about anticipating, I kinda referenced this a little
Stephen Box:bit with my story example.
Stephen Box:Where I get myself mentally zoned in, I think ahead about how I'm
Stephen Box:gonna deal with the situation.
Stephen Box:I'm anticipating the things that are going to trigger me, the things that are going
Stephen Box:to cause issues for me and I decide on a plan of action of how I'm going to get
Stephen Box:around those before they ever come up.
Stephen Box:And I love this quote by Tim Ferriss who says, I think that whenever you
Stephen Box:feel reactive or being reactive as opposed to proactive, that inherently,
Stephen Box:consciously, or subconsciously, that creates a lot of stress.
Stephen Box:And he's right.
Stephen Box:Because the reality is, when we just try to wing it, when we say I'll just
Stephen Box:figure it out in a moment, we're hoping that the stress has not gotten to the
Stephen Box:point that we become indifferent, or that we become indecisive, or that we
Stephen Box:start making poor decisions because we're so mentally and physically fatigued.
Stephen Box:And unfortunately, guys, that's usually what happens, right?
Stephen Box:So you have to have a strategy in place to go, Okay, when I start to
Stephen Box:feel myself getting overwhelmed, this is what I'm going to do.
Stephen Box:Or if you know specifically what your triggers are, then if you find
Stephen Box:yourself face to face with that trigger, what am I going to do?
Stephen Box:I want to be very clear here.
Stephen Box:This is not medical advice.
Stephen Box:Some people may have deeper traumas that trigger them, things
Stephen Box:that they need to deal with.
Stephen Box:I want to encourage you to seek the help of professionals.
Stephen Box:This is not just something that I'm like, Oh, just think your way out of it.
Stephen Box:I just want to be very clear about that because for some people you may need,
Stephen Box:professional assistance with this.
Stephen Box:And there is no shame in that.
Stephen Box:It's totally understandable.
Stephen Box:But if that's not you, if you don't have like a major trauma that you're
Stephen Box:dealing with, and it's something that as long as you can come up with a
Stephen Box:game plan and get it, get yourself out of that situation and you're good.
Stephen Box:And then the third thing is actually just focus on something else.
Stephen Box:Usain Bolt actually says, and I'm just going to read this one to you guys.
Stephen Box:Says, I've learned over the years that if you start thinking about the race,
Stephen Box:it stresses you out a little bit.
Stephen Box:I just try to relax and think about video games, what I'm going to do after the
Stephen Box:race, what I'm going to do just to chill.
Stephen Box:Stuff like that to relax a little before the race.
Stephen Box:Usain Bolt.
Stephen Box:is the fastest man on the planet, right?
Stephen Box:And has won a lot of races.
Stephen Box:it's interesting, you hear a lot of athletes talk about visualization and
Stephen Box:how they're thinking only about the race and all that kind of stuff, and you
Stephen Box:hear he's going, Look, I find I get a little bit stressed out when I do that.
Stephen Box:And so I actually focus on things that are gonna happen after the race.
Stephen Box:Or, you know, whatever.
Stephen Box:And I think we can use that same thing here.
Stephen Box:So rather than trying to be like Clark Griswold, and trying to make
Stephen Box:Christmas perfect for everybody, or Thanksgiving perfect for everybody,
Stephen Box:if instead, we say, you know what?
Stephen Box:I can't control the outcome.
Stephen Box:I can't decide if everyone else is happy, or whatever.
Stephen Box:All I can really do is the best that I can do.
Stephen Box:And then we can turn our attention toward the other stuff, right?
Stephen Box:So now instead of you worrying about perfect holiday season, you can think
Stephen Box:about like how cool it's going to be to like watch the kids open presents,
Stephen Box:or you can think about how good some of that food is going to taste on the
Stephen Box:table, or you can think about how, you know, much fun it's going to be
Stephen Box:sitting around watching football games with maybe some of the other guys.
Stephen Box:And you can really start to just focus on those things and get excited about those
Stephen Box:things happening without having to worry about any outcomes being attached to them.
Stephen Box:And I think that's one of the big ones for me, is when we attach a
Stephen Box:desire, an outcome to something, then it becomes stressful a lot of times.
Stephen Box:When we recognize that, hey, we don't necessarily have control over the outcome.
Stephen Box:But let's enjoy the process, let's think about what are the good things that are
Stephen Box:going to come out of this, regardless of what else happens, and we can enjoy that.
Stephen Box:And when we start to do that's going to help us start to reduce the stress.
Stephen Box:So guys, hopefully that gives you some really good guidelines to go off of
Stephen Box:for this holiday season, gives you some really good tools to work with.
Stephen Box:If you need to go back and listen to this episode a couple
Stephen Box:of times, feel free to do that.
Stephen Box:before we move on to our next section, did want to just remind you guys as always,
Stephen Box:that if you are enjoying the podcast, please consider giving us a follow.
Stephen Box:You can subscribe to us on our YouTube channel at Unshakable
Stephen Box:Habits, or you can also find us on your favorite podcast platforms.
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Stephen Box:the podcast as well, because that helps other people to find it.
Stephen Box:with that...
Stephen Box:Let's jump into our new segment.
Stephen Box:Intro/Outro: Let's see what the science says.
Stephen Box:Alright guys, you heard it.
Stephen Box:We're going to see what the science says.
Stephen Box:And this segment is brought to you by Unshakable Habits, where we help men
Stephen Box:to reclaim their health, so they can create a better life for themselves
Stephen Box:and those who depend upon them.
Stephen Box:You can learn more at UnshakableHabits.
Stephen Box:com Book your free call today and see how Unshakable Habits
Stephen Box:can help you reclaim your health.
Stephen Box:Alright guys, so this particular study looks at the idea of having
Stephen Box:stress as a badge of honor.
Stephen Box:Now, I'm gonna actually read this on here for you, just so you guys have a
Stephen Box:clear understanding of what this is.
Stephen Box:stress as a badge of honor, according to the researchers.
Stephen Box:is the belief that a high workload is impressive in both
Stephen Box:personally and socially valued.
Stephen Box:in other words, people who have this mindset equate working long,
Stephen Box:hard hours with being a good person.
Stephen Box:if that's you, then you're going to really find this very interesting.
Stephen Box:the mindset consists of four factors, and each of those have their own definitions,
Stephen Box:so let me read those to you real quick.
Stephen Box:So the first one is relaxation remorse, and this is the
Stephen Box:discomfort and guilt someone might feel in the absence of stress.
Stephen Box:For example, when they take off from work, sleep in, or even put
Stephen Box:their phone on do not disturb.
Stephen Box:Stress as an achievement is when someone sees their high
Stephen Box:workload as a sign of importance.
Stephen Box:Stress related social comparison, otherwise known as SRSC.
Stephen Box:A tendency to compare one's workload to the workload of others.
Stephen Box:for example, someone might come in earlier or stay later because they notice
Stephen Box:coworkers or their boss doing the same.
Stephen Box:And then stress related impression management is when someone attempts
Stephen Box:to create a social image of themselves being a hard worker.
Stephen Box:So that's when you see people do, like the humble brag about like, Oh, you know,
Stephen Box:I worked so hard and stuff like that.
Stephen Box:So that's stress related impression management.
Stephen Box:Now to give you a snapshot of the study, 752 Amazon workers
Stephen Box:were a part of the study.
Stephen Box:54 percent were male, 46 percent female.
Stephen Box:the average age was 35.
Stephen Box:So pretty relevant to, to my audience here.
Stephen Box:because I know that's about the beginning, some of you guys might be a little older,
Stephen Box:some of you might be a little younger, but that's probably about the right age
Stephen Box:range for what most of my audience is.
Stephen Box:And then, the average number of hours they worked per week is 42.
Stephen Box:Which some of you might be like, That sounds wonderful, 42 hours.
Stephen Box:That's like nothing.
Stephen Box:And then some of you might be like, how do they get anything done?
Stephen Box:as some of you, that might be all you heard.
Stephen Box:Alright, so here's what the study found.
Stephen Box:That, interesting enough here, the Stress as Achievement group, and remember, stress
Stephen Box:as an achievement is people who sees their high workload as a sign of importance.
Stephen Box:They actually reported less perceived stress.
Stephen Box:And then people that were high in the stress related impression management,
Stephen Box:remember that's the people who humble brag about how much time they're
Stephen Box:working and things like that, reported fewer overall health problems.
Stephen Box:If you're in that category right now, you're thinking to yourself, yes,
Stephen Box:see, are you guys keep telling me to like stress less, but it's okay.
Stephen Box:But not so fast, my friend.
Stephen Box:to quote the great Lee Corso.
Stephen Box:Because the badge of honor mindset actually did harm the emotional,
Stephen Box:social, and physical health of this group when they also experienced a
Stephen Box:high degree of relaxation remorse.
Stephen Box:So in other words, the person who doesn't want to take vacation, the
Stephen Box:person who feels like they can't put their phone down, they might miss an
Stephen Box:email or a text message, they can't put their phone on do not disturb.
Stephen Box:If you are in that category, then that's when all the negative results come in.
Stephen Box:Okay, so very interesting findings there that the stress itself isn't
Stephen Box:really causing people very many issues, but your mindset, and especially
Stephen Box:when it comes to your mindset around being able to relax and turn things
Stephen Box:off, does have an impact, for sure.
Stephen Box:Alright, The, according to the researchers, relaxation remorse would
Stephen Box:be expected to be negative related to recovery experiences because relaxation
Stephen Box:remorse may result in fewer breaks or simply breaks that are less replenishing.
Stephen Box:So guys, here is the big takeaway for you.
Stephen Box:I want to make sure that you get this part.
Stephen Box:The idea here is very simple.
Stephen Box:It's not so much about the stress, it's about our ability to recover from
Stephen Box:it, which very much goes back to what I was talking to you guys about at
Stephen Box:the opening of the show today, right?
Stephen Box:It's not just about the active de stressing process, guys.
Stephen Box:It's about preparing yourself for stress.
Stephen Box:It's about being able to better tolerate stress, and part of being able to
Stephen Box:tolerate stress better is to have more recovery built into your stress routine.
Stephen Box:some of the elements that lead to more stress, you have poor nutrition poor, low
Stephen Box:energy intake, and extreme diets, which you guys know I'm very much against.
Stephen Box:Intense exercise, which hey listen, occasional intense
Stephen Box:exercise is good for you.
Stephen Box:We need a little hardcore workout every now and then, but if it's all you ever do.
Stephen Box:it's gonna become a stressor and it's not a good one.
Stephen Box:word stress, relationship stress.
Stephen Box:Are you guys starting to see why I'm focused on connected health here maybe?
Stephen Box:caregiving, financial stress, loneliness, negative emotions, environmental
Stephen Box:stress, alcohol and drug use.
Stephen Box:and illness and injury.
Stephen Box:So those are things that can increase stress.
Stephen Box:So what about that recovery?
Stephen Box:how do we get better?
Stephen Box:good nutrition, regular sleep, gentle movement, fulfilling activities.
Stephen Box:you know, one of my components of connected health is existential
Stephen Box:health, sense of purpose, right?
Stephen Box:So fulfilling activities, social connections.
Stephen Box:Environmental, Social Health, Positive Emotions, Emotional Health,
Stephen Box:Time and Nature, and Mindfulness.
Stephen Box:So when you can start doing all these things, what ends up happening is,
Stephen Box:again, I go back to the phone analogy.
Stephen Box:You start putting the phone on the rapid charger and it starts charging faster.
Stephen Box:So now you're able to get the battery fully recharged again to be ready to use,
Stephen Box:rather than constantly using your battery.
Stephen Box:at a deficit.
Stephen Box:Now one final thing I want to give you guys on this.
Stephen Box:For some of you, if this applies to you, that means that you really
Stephen Box:struggle with relaxation remorse and therefore this idea of just sitting
Stephen Box:around and doing nothing could actually make things even worse for you.
Stephen Box:And the good news is you don't have to just sit around and do nothing.
Stephen Box:You can look at this as a active process.
Stephen Box:So getting out, Spending more time in nature, doing more walks, having exercise,
Stephen Box:but maybe just having some lower intensity days, spending time with your family,
Stephen Box:things that are active, but they're things that aren't creating negative stress
Stephen Box:or creating positive stress for you.
Stephen Box:And so if we can do that, we can actually start to turn around this because again,
Stephen Box:it's not about the amount of stress.
Stephen Box:It's really about the amount of recovery.
Stephen Box:And that's something that a lot of people get wrong.
Stephen Box:So I wanted to share that with you guys today because the science I think a lot
Stephen Box:of times we don't really look at because it can be so complicated these papers are
Stephen Box:written in languages that only scientific researchers or people who have been
Stephen Box:taught how to read them even understand.
Stephen Box:So I want to give you guys some of this stuff and give you practical
Stephen Box:advice for actually how to approach it.
Stephen Box:So with that guys, that is going to be it for our show this week.
Stephen Box:did want to just really quickly let you know, I do have a few
Stephen Box:coaching spots open right now.
Stephen Box:So if you are looking for some one on one coaching over the holidays,
Stephen Box:you want to help come figure out how do I, you know, recover better, how
Stephen Box:do I get my stress levels in check.
Stephen Box:And how do I hit the ground running in January on the rest of my health goals?
Stephen Box:you can do that by helping to get started now, and you can go to unshakablehabits.
Stephen Box:com, schedule a free roadmap call, and I will be happy to sit down
Stephen Box:and talk with you guys about that.
Stephen Box:with that guys, As always, I want to remind you that while none of us are born
Stephen Box:unshakable, we can all become unshakable.
Stephen Box:See you next week and enjoy your holidays.
Stephen Box:Thank you for listening to the Unshakable Habits podcast with Coach Stephen Box.
Stephen Box:Be sure to hit the subscribe button and help us spread the word by
Stephen Box:sharing the podcast with other men.
Stephen Box:If you're ready to create unshakable habits, you can learn more and connect
Stephen Box:with us at unshakablehabits.com.