Unshakable Insights: Stephen's Key Takeaways for Finding Balance in Work, Relationships, and Health

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Welcome to Unshakable Habits.

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I am your host, Stephen Vox.

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And if you have been hanging out with us this week, you know we've

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been chatting with Christine Joel, a faith based executive coach

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and author of Drop the Armor.

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And today I wanted to just take an opportunity to give you some

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of my unshakable insights, my key takeaways From this week and also

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share some of my personal experiences with some of these takeaways.

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So starting on Monday, we did what I call the introductory episode of

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the week, where we talked about this idea of being constantly busy, but

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always feeling like no matter how hard you work, you just can't get ahead.

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You're always behind.

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And Christine had this gem, I think it was towards the end of the episode, where

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she said, What if we chose our overwhelm?

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I mean, a light bulb moment for me when she said it, right?

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Because Instantaneously, I went to stress management.

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I talk about stress management is not getting rid of stress.

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It's about managing it and it's about having the right amount.

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It's about finding that stress sweet spot because some stress

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is actually positive for us.

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Too much of it is negative, but the right amount is positive.

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And this is a slightly different context.

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But, if we're choosing our overwhelm, we're using, we're changing the context

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of overwhelm, let me say it that way.

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Where we're looking at, can I be overwhelmed with joy?

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Can I be overwhelmed with grace?

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Can I be overwhelmed with all these positive things?

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And that is such a great reframe.

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And, Christine points out that, Really, in order to do this, it's all about

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being intentional about where you spend your energy and your time, not spending

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your time just being busy for the sake of being busy or doing things that make

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other people happy, but really doing it because it's what you want to do.

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And a big part of that is Knowing how to figure out what your values are, what

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your goals are, and then prioritizing your task around those, aligning that

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to your values and your goals, and then setting boundaries to make sure that

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you're able to prioritize those tasks.

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Such a huge thing for so many people to be able to learn to do that.

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And part of that is learning to say no.

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if you want to talk about managing overwhelm and you want

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to talk about creating balance in your life, learning to say no.

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is the most crucial skill.

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this is something I personally have been working on for a couple years now.

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And I will tell you, once you get it down, once you can learn how to phrase it, and

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really develop it, it's a game changer.

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And maybe one day I'll do a full episode on how we actually say that, right?

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How do we say no to people without being rude?

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Because I've got it figured out now.

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I'm not going to say I'm 100 percent perfect, but I've got

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it pretty well figured out now.

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And It took some time.

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So then Tuesday we started talking about work stuff and really this idea of

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productivity addiction and it's something that honestly Christine pointed out

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oftentimes comes from a place of a seeking validation through constant activity.

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Let that sink in for a second.

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Do you find that you've ever had that experience where you are?

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Always doing stuff, you're always busy, you're trying to do all these things,

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and it's not because that's what you want to be doing, it's because you feel

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like there's an expectation, even if that expectation is only in your head,

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even if it's not real, it can feel very real, and it creates this need to always

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be doing something, and it becomes an addiction, and it most of the time is us

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trying to gain the approval of someone else, whether that's your boss, so you

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can get a promotion or a raise, or whether it's our spouse or our kids or whatever.

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We're always trying to do things to make ourselves look better

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in the eyes of someone else or to gain their approval, right?

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Then the other thing she talked about was this idea of needing to redefine

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what productivity means to us.

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Focusing on the meaningful actions rather than just the busy work.

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So really, what are those things that are going to push everything forward?

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I remember she gave an example from a client call that she had where

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the client was like, I got to do all this stuff and all this stuff.

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And she said, if you were to take all that off the table, if you

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just clean slate, think about what you actually were needing to do.

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What is the one thing you can do right now that would make a huge difference?

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And if you guys want more on that concept, do you want to dive more into that?

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I highly recommend the book, The One Thing really dives into this idea of

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what's the one thing you can do right now that will make everything else easier.

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It's not just about doing literally one thing.

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It's about What thing do I need to prioritize?

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And then the other thing is taking breaks, allowing yourself to recharge, right?

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And we're talking not just vacation time here, right?

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I know a lot of people over the summer they take vacation and that's great

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But we're talking about regular just throughout the day little mental

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breaks that you can take Not just waiting for the weekend, right?

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It's not about just grinding through till Friday and then taking a little

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Saturday and Sunday This is about how can you find time to recharge your batteries

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every day and a big part of that in my mind We'll talk about here in a few

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minutes, but a big part of that in my mind is about eating the right foods.

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It's about having the right mindset.

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It's about getting enough sleep and it's about consistently exercising.

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Those things will help to recharge your batteries and it will get your

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battery stronger to begin with.

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definitely something to do.

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Then we moved into talking about relationships and one of the big mistakes

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That Christine pointed out is that we fail to communicate our needs and expectations

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clearly, and this leads to resentment.

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A lot of times we think that we've been clear.

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We think that it should be obvious.

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We expect our partners to maybe just read our minds and

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know what it is that we need.

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Or we feel like we've communicated it and the reality is we haven't.

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And a lot of times what it comes down to also is, we talked earlier

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about the importance of saying no.

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Sometimes we've agreed to do things for our significant other

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that we really didn't want to do.

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It's not really within our wheelhouse or maybe it's something that we

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don't really have time for right now.

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But we're going to go ahead and just do it just because.

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Thanks.

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We feel like we're obligated to not because we want to not because there's a

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desire to do it not because it's coming from That place but because we feel

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like we have to do it right and when you do that You're going to end up filling

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Resentment when you don't get that same courtesy back to you Or when you don't

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communicate it in the first place and people don't do what you think they

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should be doing and you're doing things, you're going to start to have resentment.

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And so much of this comes from doing things that you feel obligated to do

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versus things that you want to do.

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It's not coming to things with a full cup, so to speak.

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And Christine goes on to point out that relationships thrive

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on Mutual understanding and effort, not on assumptions and

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unspoken resentments, right?

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So exactly what I just got through, highlighting to you guys there.

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And then investing time in our relationships is just as important

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in any other area of our life.

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It's about quality, not just quantity.

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And to me, this is a big one because a lot of us, we spend a lot of time at work.

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We spend a lot of time with the kids.

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We spend a lot of time doing everything except for focusing on our relationships.

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Absolutely huge.

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And then, yesterday, we actually got into this conversation about health.

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health, I 100 percent believe, is not just a physical thing.

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it's about mental health, emotional health, spiritual

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health, and physical health, right?

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but when we talk about the physical health aspect of things,

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we're talking about things like exercise, nutrition, sleep.

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And one of the parts of that conversation we had was especially

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around with Christine being a faith based coach is this idea a lot of

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Christians have of, Trying to take care of your body, trying to, build

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muscle or look a certain way, gets into idolizing yourself a little bit, right?

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And it can feel wrong to do that.

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And the thing is, Christine points out, and I 100 percent agree with her

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on this, that God gave us this body.

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Our body is a temple that the Holy Spirit dwells in, and we have an obligation,

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really, to maintain that temple, right?

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That, to keep things nice.

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And that doesn't mean that you have to go out and have big muscles, or six pack abs,

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or flat stomach, or anything like that.

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It just simply means that you take care of yourself.

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But again, take care of yourself doesn't just mean physically, it also means

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Making time for your mental health, your spiritual health, your emotional health,

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your relational health, all of those things are important aspects of health.

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And if you guys want to know more about that, I encourage you to look

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into the concept of deep health.

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so Christine goes on to say that, she believes that when we integrate our faith

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into our health practices, we find a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

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And again, I 100 percent agree with this.

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I find that when I get up in the morning and I carve out time for

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some kind of movement, Some kind of prayer time, some kind of devotional

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reading time, that it just makes such a huge difference in my entire day.

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which goes, really to her next point of saying it's essential to

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create daily habits that nourish both our body and our spirit.

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again, I'm jumping ahead here, but it's like perfect alignment, We often overlook

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the spiritual aspect of health, but it's just as important as the physical,

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something that Christine also pointed out.

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And again here, I agree with this because if we don't have a connection

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to something bigger, we don't have a sense of purpose in life.

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If we don't feel that connection, a lot of times we can start to devalue ourselves.

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We start to feel like we don't have the value.

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And if you don't feel like you have value, it's very difficult

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to take care of yourself.

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So I think maybe even it's more important, right?

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Meditation and prayer can be powerful tools to center

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yourself and maintain balance.

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Again, this goes back to what I said about morning routine, daily

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habits, regular rest and recovery periods to recharge your batteries.

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It all ties back in.

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And then finally, Christine talks about building a

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supportive community around you.

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can greatly enhance your journey towards holistic well being.

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And again, like I said earlier, when you look at this concept of deep health, it

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is physical health, but it's also mental health, emotional health, and then it's

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environmental health, it's relational health, and it's spiritual health.

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Those are the components of deep health.

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And so when you look at it from that perspective, You started to see that all

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of these things are so important to have.

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So guys, that is our recap for this week's episodes.

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Next week, we are going to be talking about Something that I know a lot of us

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struggle with, something I struggled with for a very long time and really only in

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the last few years have I truly got this.

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I've had pieces of success over the years with it, but it's only

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been the last couple years I've really put all the pieces together.

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And that's over on overcoming setbacks, dealing with slow

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progress, and managing stress.

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Believe it or not, those are all completely intertwined.

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They have a lot to do with each other.

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So next week, it's just going to be me here talking to you, so make sure

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you tune in every day because I'm going to really dive into this topic

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and we're going to give you some actionable steps that you'll be able to

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take with you by the end of the week.

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And you will become so much better at overcoming your setbacks and

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dealing with problems, slow progress.

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as well as managing your stress.

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So with that guys, thanks for tuning in today.

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And as always, I want to remind you that while none of us are born

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unshakable, we can all become unshakable.

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Because becoming unshakable is a choice.